You vs. The Economy

How are you fairing in this economy?  Are you making the best of your earnings?  Remember to pay yourself first by participating in your company's retirement plan (401k, etc.), transit deductions and health care incentives that are taken out of your earnings pre-tax.  Research the best way to make what you earn work for you and your family.  As the tax season is upon us, be mindful to SAVE some of that money, don't let it burn your pockets...put it in a CD, research which bank offers the best rates.   Check your W-2's to ensure that you are making the right allocations.  Know what tax brackets you are in to ensure the right amount of taxes are coming out of your earning.  Consult an accountant or your HR department for help.  Invest in stocks, once again you must do your own research.  Help and pay yourself first!!!

MONEY TIP: If you can not put more money into your retirement plan, commit to a certain amount that you will save every pay period.  Once you get to $1,000 research CD's.  (Stack and be consistent)

Questions while dating?

What are the major questions that need to be discussed before getting into a serious relationship?  And when should they be discussed?  If you are just dating do you feel obligated to tell them your secrets or do you feel that the length of time you are together determines how much you tell them?

Are you afraid of asking the really hared questions or do you get so caught up in the moment that you allow them to get away from you.  Let's chat?

So what do we think of Erykah B's HIGH TOP FADE?  DOING THINGS HER WAY!
SHE'S ALWAYS FLY!

MONEY OVER EVERYTHING!

Hello my good people...

I want to talk to you today about money...yes, the root of all evil.  Or is it? We all want it and most would do anything to obtain it.  My question to you, guys and gals, Does it matter who is the breadwinner in the relationship?  Men, is it a problem when your woman makes more money than you? Women, are you able to be with a man if he makes less money than you?  Ladies could you have a stay at home dad?  It is said that money can destroy relationships, I say if you are open and honest about how you really feel about money and can agree on some basic principles...you can get pass those money issues!!! Let's talk about it. 

"BREAK" BABIES!

Good Morning,
So there seems to be a trend going on amongst a few celebrities....Dwayne Wade reportedly had a baby with his side chick while apparently on a "break" from Gabrielle Union.  Ludacris just announced the birth of his child with his side chick while on a "break" from his main chick, Eudoxie.  How would you feel if you and your man/woman separated for a few weeks or a month or two and after you made amends and got back together....they dropped the bomb that a baby had been conceived during that brief moment. Would you forgive and keep your relationship or would you end it? Please note that they most likely had unprotected sex which is endangering not only the relationship but your life.  What would you do? Let's talk.

WHO ARE YOU???

WHO ARE YOU?

Hello…I’m back…

Life has been such a learning experience for me over the past year and 7 months, I have learned to give more, love more, understand and empathize more.  I am no longer that selfish, immature woman who let outside circumstances command her life.  I now face things head on and not run from them no matter how uncomfortable they are.  My journey is not over it has barely begun, with all that I have learned, I will be the first to admit that I need and want to learn more about me as a person, as a woman, mother, daughter, grandmother, and friend.   There is so much more to me than I’ve allowed you to see I am on a “Vision Quest” if you may.  How many of you are ready to take a great look at yourself not to criticize or to brow beat but to encourage, to uplift yourself and to experience self-growth?

I was asked a very potent question today, "Who are you?  Beyond being a mother, a daughter or friend, who are you?"  Have you ever been asked that dreadful question and everything in your mind seems to run or scatter?  That's exactly how I felt.  I essentially know who I am, but other than providing for my family and socializing with my friends...who really am I?  I am a quiet and sometimes shy person who has always been a loner, I am a social butterfly who wings expand beautifully when I’m in the mix at gatherings.  I am a writer who can easily express herself through words, I am a procrastinator with big ideas that sometimes fall to the wayside because I allow life to get in the way.  I am God's helper, I believe that I am here to help others...and I'm still trying to figure out in which capacity I should be of help.  I am not the same person who I thought I was a year ago or even 3 months ago, by allowing myself to be venerable to others I have been disappointed, hurt and sometimes discourage but I learned that by opening up myself to those feelings I love more, I feel more, I cherish life more.  I wish I could say that I was passed all my youthful flaws but I still have some with me, some of theme are very easily dealt with but others such as sharing my love with others is harder yet it becomes better as I learn more and more about him and me.   Who am I to stifle love? I must learn to practice what I preach when it comes to my personal life.  I’m not there yet and I may not be there in the next month but I’m working on me.  I’m ready for this journey and the things life has in store.  I’m planning to share my journey with you and hope that you will in turn share yours with me. 

Let’s gooooo!!!     

Light vs. Dark

I was reading through my friends post and I happen to come across a post that read, "I'm Proud to be Dark-skinned, you Light-Skinned hoes ain't got nothing on me." At first I giggled, said "wow" and moved on but the woman in me, I just had to comment, it was very friendly and nonchalant but as my day drew on ...it kind of made me feel a certain way. I went back to read the other comments posted and there was a negative notation to one of her comments, and it got me thinking...are we still so insecure within ourselves that we have to lash out at others who are different. Society's view of what is better and prettier have certainly affected us as a whole, I just happen to be light-skinned and I'm wondering if all dark-skin women feel the same way as my FB friend. There was nothing wrong with her post, it's the way she felt at the moment and there is nothing wrong with celebrating who you are....why wouldn't you, you have no other choice other than to accept your dark-skin, embrace it and love it. As we all should no matter how light or dark our skin is. Did someone make her feel bad about her beautiful dark hue or was she just being petty and mean? Either way she was totally expressing a view that is held by millions of people that live amongst us.

I have never let society determine for me what was beautiful, accepting or good, I made those decisions on my own, how could I not love my Grandmother Sue who is of the darkest hue, beautiful within her own right, the strength of her character and the love that poured from her heart is bigger than any thoughts that I have on what I should feel about color. Or my Grandmother Lula who was light skinned, strong and real, should I love any one of them less for being born a certain shade of BLACK. Because no matter how light or dark your skin is....BLACK is the word that you must come to terms with.

Having ill feelings towards a single individual because they have wronged you or the two of you just don't get on is very different from crowding one shade of BLACK together and making statements about them that isn't true. I hate the stereotypes that come along with the shades of color, Light skinned girls are stuck up. Dark skinned girls are mean. Being born a particular shade of BLACK doesn't determine your character, I don't fit into none of those stupid stereotypes, I am one of the most down to earth women you'll run across...so what steps can we take to ensure that our little ones growing up don't fall into the trap that society has left for them. And I'm sure some of my dark hue sisters will say, that I don't understand because I'm of a lighter shade but I don't care what someone's personal choice is, if a man doesn't like light skinned women oh well, move on to the next and if a man doesn't light dark-skinned women same choice....who cares. I will say that women allow men to create insecurities where there should be NONE. No matter the shade of your color if you allow a man to tell you what he likes before he even gets to know YOU then there is a problem. If he can't see beyond a shade of color then that's not the person for you, everybody has their own preferences, again nothing wrong with that but they are the ones missing out by choosing people based on shades of color. I, myself is guilty of saying, "Damn, I love a chocolate man", that's a person preference, but I don't exclude men of other shades, a man is a man is a man....no matter what shade he is and I am experienced to know that.

So the next time I come across a post that is celebrating a person for who she is, I will think twice before I conclude the reasoning behind the statement. Who knows what experiences this person may have encountered? Just know that there are millions of women like me who love you no matter what shade of BLACK you are